Dealing with back-to-school stress.

Most of you have heard me talk about my daughter, Lily. She's the one who says stuff like, "Mom, I love you, but we've GOT to talk about this cake I'm designing." This girl picked me flowers as she pranced home from school today. She doesn't mind playing superhero in public. Just the other day she and I had a conversation where she explained to me that there are only seven albino zebras in the world. She knew that because she reads the Nat Geo Kids magazine from cover to cover every month. My newly minted third grader (small heart clutch here) has just completed her second week in school. Usually, back to school means a few tears here and there as she adjusts to the new schedule. This year though... this year has been the worst yet.

 There's some new policies in place at her school and others which will be more strictly enforced. For instance, the tardy rule states that students must be standing with their classmates by the time the bell rings to be escorted inside. You're not in line, regardless of bell, you're tardy. Last year, Lily walked in, went to her room, and sat down. Tardies mean you go to the office and get a red slip to take to your teacher. The behavior plan has gone school wide and it's complicated. I'm all for color charts, since I'm about 7 months away from being a teacher. Really, though? SEVEN different colors? Isn't that a little much? I'm not really complaining, just concerned at some of the things other moms are saying.

Lily already has three tardies. She stops to talk to the crossing guard every morning after. She walks to the door while looking at whatever catches her fancy. She very nearly meanders her way to class. It's not because she doesn't like school. It's because she's easily fascinated by the world. Lily came home earlier this week in tears. Not just a few minutes and then the upset was forgotten. She was sobbing. "Mom, everything's different and I don't know how to do the right things. It's all so different, even the kid who bullied me last year doesn't bully me anymore."

Oh that broke my heart. If Lily is upset that she's not getting bullied, I know this is serious. How do you handle your child's pain? How do I teach her how to be responsible, to realize that change is inevitable, without making it sound like I'm mad at her for struggling?

"Mom, I'm so overwhelmed. I just want to cry."
"I don't want to be tardy, I just want to be absent."
"School isn't fun anymore."

The last one, more than anything else, worries me. It's kept me tossing and turning at night. I absolutely love learning. I love nerding out on how the world works. I like being able to answer random trivia questions. I love being in the classroom and I have a slight obsession with school supplies. I am 28 years old, and I still get a thrill when I see I got an A on a paper or a test. It's not the grade, it's the satisfaction that I've done well and I've achieved a new level of knowledge. I want all of this and more for my daughter. I have buckets full of pride that I'm considered a good student. If nothing else, I want my legacy to her to be that love of all the things there are to learn in the world.

She's arguing with teachers. She's crumpling her homework. She yells at her sister. She yells at me. She's pushing limits. While it is easy to get frustrated at first and angry at her, I can't. I can see the pattern. She doesn't feel any control. She's hurting.

I'm probably blowing this whole thing out of proportion. What mama doesn't do that when her kid is hurting? I've been at a loss as to how to help her avoid that anger and frustration so that she can get back to enjoying school. I tell her that it will be okay and she'll get the new schedule down. I tell her that the new color system gives her more chances to be good instead of bad. I tell her that she's a smarty pants and that she should be proud of herself. I tell her that third graders have more responsibility than second graders, which is cool because that means they get to do fun, new things. I tell her not to worry.

I have asked other parents for advice and read various articles on the internet. I've thought about the strategies I've learned for teaching when I have my own classroom. I've gathered a  few ideas on how to help Lily get back to her normal, happy self. Some are to spark her curiosity and get her excited about learning new things. Others are geared towards shifting schedules and setting a new routine.

1) I am going to take her to our local museum. She loves that place.
2) I'm going to find some cool science experiment we can do at home. I'm thinking rubber eggs or maybe even rainbow daisies. She'd get a kick out of flowers turning colors.
3) I'm going to get adjust bed time and wake up time. We'll leave 10 minutes earlier in the morning so she doesn't get another tardy.
4) We'll go pick out a new book.
5) I will talk to her teacher and her counselor and her principal if I have to so they are aware of the stress the environment at school is causing my child.
6) We'll take a break before doing homework. In the past, we always do homework right after school. I'm thinking she needs the break. It may not work out, but we'll try.
7) I'm going to revise and update our rewards and behavior rules at home. We have had the same ones on the fridge for a year now. It's time for something fresh.
8) I'm going to give her more choices. Even if it's just what we have for dinner or what song we should listen to on the stereo, I'm giving her the opportunity to feel like she has control.

Any other suggestions? I would love to hear your own experiences and how you've handled your child's stress. I don't think there can ever be enough good, heartfelt advice when it comes to making your babies happy. Thanks for struggling through this with me. For those of you who have offered advice, thank you. Sometimes parents need reminders that they're doing the best they can.

PONY PARTY Part 2: Fluttershy

To read PONY PARTY Part 1: Rainbow Dash, go here.

There ain't no party like a pony party..... 

I have about five million pictures of horses and ponies on my camera right now. There was a TON of horses at the fair. (I'll post my annual fair report in a day or two.) So the pony party has moved beyond crochet! On a semi-related note, I am pretty sure I could train a mini horse to be my next dog. I would never need to mow my back yard. I could take it on  walks and put it in sweet little outfits... ahhhhhhh. Dreams.

Aren't merry-go-rounds so pretty? I love the details and the slightly terrifying faces on the horses. They're not as cute as this week's pony for Lily's birthday project extravaganza though!!!

Here's Fluttershy!

She's so soft and the colors, though not my usual bright favorites, turned out fantastically. 

If you remember, I'm using the pattern from AcrylicSheep on etsy. She's got some great pony creations on her ravelry. I also found out that she has all the cutie mark patterns for FREE. I was really impressed because they were so simple. Time is of the essence with this project so I'll have to save all the cutie marks until the end. I just think the ponies look incomplete without them! That is also the kind of detail Lily will notice.

I was planning on finishing Pinkie after Rainbow Dash, but I got my hands on the yellow yarn first. I crocheted all the smaller pieces first and the head and body later. It made things go quickly. My biggest problem is convincing myself not to rush through. Two done, four go!

I still say Lily is going to be extremely spoiled, don't you agree?


I shared this post at Hooking on Hump Day!

Flowers and teefers. Day in my life.

So it's my favorite time of year again.

The roses at my house are in bloom...making my house look much prettier than it usually does!

Every year, our rose bushes burst into sunny yellow happiness and remind me why I live in my tuna can of a house. For about a week or two, once a year, we're the prettiest house on the block. Provided that we've remembered to mow our yard and kill the dandelions.

There is no possible way to be grumpy when looking at my yard during this time of the year. It's fantastic. The girls wanted their pictures taken. Lily was being a ham, as usual.

She's wearing the tie her dad was supposed  to wear at my sister's wedding. He snuck out of it because I was so busy. Harummph. Lily also likes to smirk somewhat evilly at the camera to warn me that she's about to get into mischief. Or ask my a question/make a comment that makes my brain all explodey. Just the other day she golfed her first nine holes and loved it. She proceeded to tell me that she's going to be a better golfer than Tiger Woods. Seriously, how the heck does she know who Tiger Woods is? She wants golf lessons, so I guess we're adding that to the list of things to do this summer. Lily is interested in everything and that makes summer a crazy time for us as we try to get her into as many activities as possible so she can explore. So far this summer we're doing horse riding, golf, swimming, and art lessons. Possibly a Harry Potter Science Camp. I'm taking donations for all of this. Please be generous. *wink wink* I'm also constantly searching for books for her to read. She's reading faster than I can find book series for her.

Sage Muffin still has the cutest jack-o-lantern smile ever. I am really going to cry when she finally gets another tooth on the bottom.

She just got a fourth tooth and guess where it is? Yup. Still up top. Haha. This is the slowest teething child I have ever met. 18 months and 3.5 teeth. That has to be some kind of a record. Being mostly toothless does NOT slow down her eating. This kid eats. Lily doesn't. I've spent the last 8 years of my parenting life fighting for every morsel of food to go into Lily's mouth. Sage eats her portions AND Lily's portions AND mine AND Nic's. There's no stopping her. The other night at dinner out, she ate calamari, shrimp, bruschetta, brie, clam chowder, my mahi mahi, Grandma's steak, and a couple mouthfuls of pineapple salsa that was too hot for ME. Oh, and she chewed on a lemon wedge for about 10 minutes. We call her our hobbit eater. She has to have first breakfast, second breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, second lunch, afternoon tea (milk), supper, dinner....the list goes on. It's about 90% fruits and veggies, so I don't stop her. I'm going to have to up our bountiful baskets to two a week here soon to accommodate her! She also ate her first mouthful of dirt as we were planting Grandma's herbs. Possibly a bug or two. Heh. 

I can't help but smile at my flowers and my girls. That's what summer is all about to me. Playing hard, getting dirty, and sighing at the flowers. I can't wait to enjoy this sunshine and happy time!!! Just remind me in August when I'm ready for school to start again that I felt this way! By then I'll probably be ready to hide in the spider corner of my laundry room just for some quiet. ;)

While we're on the topic of flowers, can anyone tell me what type of clematis this is? Or if it is a clematis?

It's really pretty! I would love to find this variety to plant in my yard somewhere. Thanks in advance for your help!

Happy SUMMER!!!!!

I'm going to stand outside. If anyone asks, just say I'm outstanding.

I think that is my best FB status ever. Just sayin'.

It has once again been WEEKS since I've played on my bloggity blog. I have been super productive though! If you count school work and making sure my kids have clean laundry (mine is another story). I have had some wonderful firsts recently in regards to my teaching internship:

I decorated a classroom with awesome blossom pictures cells and made bulletin boards with GIANT MICROBES. If you need to ever get me a present, just get me some of these adorable little guys. Seriously, too cute! I think my favorite was the little sperm with a bow on it's head. It and the egg are magnetic so they stick together. HAHAHA.

We're starting a new unit on bacteria and cells and viruses and body systems and and and... it's all very exciting to me.

I wrote my first test. It's printed and waiting in a pretty stapled stack waiting to be groaned over this week. It's kind of hard. I'm not going to lie. If I was a student, I'd be a bit freaked. I found that realization invigorating and made myself slightly giddy. Those kids learn quick though, I'm sure it will work out just fine. I'm also proud that it doesn't have one single multiple choice, essay, or true/false question on it. I'm breaking test boundaries here, yo.

My house is a mess. My husband has come to terms with the fact that my absent minded noises count for conversation after the kids go to bed because that's when I'm doing homework. I can't step out of the house without makeup for fear someone could get lost in the dark circles that have taken up permanent residence under my eyes. I don't care. It's all worth it. I am having so much fun even as I am drowning under school obligations. This is seriously the craziest, but best semester ever.

Are ya'll sick of hearing me talk about school yet?

While I'm thinking about it, I want to post this fantastic picture of my girls. Auntie Alli sent it to me after she edited it and played with the colors. I am so going to have to think of ways to terrify teenage boy children later on.

Lily's birthday is coming up this Saturday. Eight years old. EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OLD. How does that happen? Can I send in some form to somewhere requesting that my children don't grow up so fast? She doesn't really want a party, she wants to go to the Museum to see the King Tut exhibit. So we'll do that and have a cupcake party afterwards somewhere. I asked her if she wanted to invite some friends from dance or school and she said, "Nope, I will be just happy spending the day with my family." Awwww.

Well, hopefully it won't be another several weeks before I get back to blog land. I have a few recipes to post because the food that is made in my house is delicious and I want to share it with you all. Not bragging or anything... ;)

Oh and P.S... Not only did I get sick, everyone but Lily got sick. It was like the plague had descended upon my household. Wishful thinking didn't work!

Dancing with the Lily Bean.

If this summer keeps up the hectic pace it's been going so far, I am going to need a coma to recover by the end of it. One thing after another, I tell you! I would rather stay busy than sit around doing nothing, but at this point, I could stand a day or two of nothing. 

Lily is super excited to start her tumbling and ballet/jazz classes this week. Going leotard shopping was an exercise in patience and the whirlwind of excitement that is my girl. We tried on several different leotards and she wanted me to snap phone pictures of every one. As if that wasn't enough, she wanted me to text them to her grandma and her aunt so they could provide feedback on their favorite. She was so dazzled by all the colors, she had to touch everything. 

"Look! Mom! This one is in America's colors with stars!" 

"Mom! This one has a HAIR THING that matches!"

"Mom, these zebra shorts would be totally perfect with the pink one!"

I was as frazzled as I was amused by the end of it. 

We finally settled on this one. It's velvety, has rhinestones on the collar, and sort of has its own shorts. I tried to get her to just stand there for the picture, but it wouldn't do for Lily to be boring. She had to pose. I have to admit, it's very easy to notice how grown up she looks in her leotard. She's got a mile of leg already. We are going to have to designate a boy-beating stick some day much sooner than I care to acknowledge.

Feeling left out of the fun, grandma had to take her shopping for a second leotard since she is in two different classes. That one is much more sedate and classic. Simple black with pink tights. She'll wear that one for dance and I'll have to add a picture when I get her all ready tomorrow. That shopping experience was no less boring than the first.

I can't describe how much I have been anticipating and worrying over these classes for Lily. She so needs help in the grace and bodily control department. There is a video on grandma's phone that the family has lovingly dubbed the "Lily's Got No Rhythm" video. LOL. However, she is a child that is in her own little world and has had difficulties in regular classroom settings. Her mind is fascinatingly unique and I think that's often why she forgets things like self control and watching where she's walking. She has been counting down the days. I'm afraid she'll have trouble falling in line and directions, but I'm hoping it works out in the long run. We'll see!

Three things...

Number One:

I would like it stated for the record that when I get a sunburn, I expect it to be on a hot, sunny day. Not when I have been standing out in the wind and cold for 5 hours.

Yesterday was Water Festival at the park and I volunteered to help, along with a few other students, to do one of the stations. We were a big giant plant and students got necklaces to turn them into "water molecules" to go through the process of photosynthesis and other watery fun in a plant. It was a blast and so clever. Haha. There was over 19 schools of fifth graders that came through and for those freezy five hours I repeated over and over, "Welcome to the CHLOROPLAST! This is where photosynthesis happens...." and so on. They say teaching is the best way to learn and I know for sure that's true because I have the photosynthesis process burned  into my brain forever.

Number Two:

The front cover of this month's Time magazine really bugs me.

I saw this yesterday and it's been stirring in my mind ever since. I can't say that the idea of extended breast feeding is wrong. I have to figure that it happens enough in other cultures that it must have some merit. For me and my kids it wouldn't work. I would be too weirded out. If the child is old enough to drink from a cup and I was that serious about it, I'd give them breast milk in a cup. I absolutely love nursing baby Sage. It's our time to snuggle and coo at each other and bond. I could not do that if she was 3 years old. I would feel awkward. What really makes me mad about this cover is that the mother and child don't seem to have any connection in the picture. They're not embracing in any way or even looking at one another. This picture is for shock value and I think the magazine should feel shameful when the article is supposedly about attachment parenting. I also can't help but feel mad at the mother. Her poor son is never going to get away from that image. He's 3 years old for god's sake. He doesn't have any idea of the consequences of the idea that he will now and forever be known as "the boy on that magazine cover."

 Perhaps it's important. People will be talking about it. And by talking about it, they'll be looking into attachment parenting and other positive, alternative ways to raise their children. There are better ways to raise our kids than is the societal norm these days. I like the ideas of parents actually raising and nurturing their children. I may not ascribe to all of them, but I do have to admit I agree with many of them. I don't see how this cover will be positive in the long run though.

Number Three:

The latest Lilyisms.....

Lily told her grandmother that she didn't want to grow up because kids get to eat whatever they want. She went on to explain that adults can't do that because the food would go straight to their hips.

Lily brought me home a planted sunflower as a Mother's Day project they did at school.
Lily: Mom, I planted you this but it's not growing yet. It makes me sad because I gave it all the love I could. That is how plants grow: water, sunshine, and love. I guess it needs both of us to love it.

Awwwwwww......

Lilyisms

I am constantly amazed and tickled by my Lily girl. The things that come out of her mouth are just perfectly intriguing and usually full of comedic entertainment. She's such a happy little thing and so very smart. At the risk of sounding like every other parent out there, I really am blessed to have such a perfect little soul in my life.

Here's the latest collection of the things that have come out of my kid's mouth:

Regarding Earth Day....
"Mom we have to take care of this Earth because it's the only home we've got and we can't live in outer space because there's no oxygen and there's aliens."

Regarding a closet full of things at her aunt's house....
"Wow! Look at all the memories!"

Regarding her shoes....
"I need lots of new cute shoes because I need to look fab. You know what fab means right? It means fabulous."

Regarding school...
"It's a good thing I'm so smart because otherwise homework would take for-EVER."

Regarding her outfit:
"Does this look goth to you? I don't know if there is enough pink."

Regarding laziness...
Lily: "I want a treat."
Nic: "I want a million dollars."
Lily: "I wish we had a million dollars. Then I wouldn't have to go to school and I could stay home."
Nic: "No, I could stay home, but you would have to still go to school because we have to stay busy."
Lily: "Yeah, because if we don't stay busy, then we would get fat and die."

She makes me LMAO. For reals. I can only hope she keeps the zingers coming.